Perfect pitch
I have listened to endless numbers of pitches. In the first hundred or so, I was just tagging along. The next hundred taught me what to do, but more importantly, what NOT to do. There have been some after that too. To help one cope and make notes, I have made some crude and cruel categories to place the pitches, I am subjected to. Make no mistake, I have never believed that an agreed meeting is a permission to waste my time. It is an opportunity, but I can and will end it if there seems to be little or no point in going through it.
The “Newbies”. Haven’t done their homework, thus know nothing of you and barely anything of the company. They have no slides or business cards. Makes you point them at the competitor’s conference room. Why should you be the only one wasting your time?
The “Just pitching” salesman who has done the pitch too many times. Starting when the decision maker is not there, having conversations with 12 people and pitching to the lecture hall with three. Not engaging. Makes you schedule for another meet, after six months.
The “Inventor” who only sees what he believes (that the product is great) and is not there to find out your needs, but to enquire if you are a believer. Makes you want to believe.
The “This is going to be HUGE” people, with no budget, an oral OK from an angel and no real idea to make what they are selling, real. Makes you want to make them pay for their own lattes.
The “We would like” company. Sound idea, solid business plan, working processes and funded by their existing but small sales. They would like to expand, would like to partner with you and would like you to tell them how you would like to do it. Makes you want to say yes, and take them for all they have got.
The truly mad. Sometimes bullies just want to come and pitch their (usually mad) idea and being bullies in the school, try to bully you into buying it. It must work, as there are some of those. Makes you hope that there would be a panic button in the conference room.
Finally, someone in a middle management of a Telco, whom I respect greatly stated that the software salesmen are crap in finding out your need, yet rather talk about features. Hardware salesmen know that the features are secondary.
